1) Go to Nuggets (or your local professional sports team) game 2 nights before race. Stay out a minimum of 2 hours past normal bed time.
2) Do not clean bike the day before race as normal.
3) Do not eat adequately the night before the race.
4) Do drive the equivalent mileage of Denver to Boulder and back.
5) Do stay on your feet while you and a friend repair minor bike issue.
6) Do stay too long socializing at aforementioned friend's house.
7) Do go to bed 30 minutes after normal bed time, but just lay there and not go to sleep until 4 hours before you have to get up for your race.
If you follow my patented steps, YOU TOO can have a (semi-)successful race. For additional information on how to follow these steps, please send $19.99 to . . . .
So these are all the things I decided to do before the Boulder Roubaix this past Saturday. For those not in the know, no, this isn't a race from Boulder to Roubaix, France. That would take a paddle boat. I don't have one.
It is the Colorado version of the great spring classic Paris-Roubaix. Or the Queen of The Classics as it is called. No cobblestones on the Boulder version, but it is 75% dirt roads. Some of that is smooth, some washboard, some gravel, and some potholes. At times, the latter 3 are mixed together.
I almost bailed on the race due to the lack of sleep, but since I'm a cheap bastard and the reason for the trip to Boulder the night before was to pre-register, I decided I was going to at least make it a day of solid mental training. Mental training it was because I was tired, and my legs were more tired.
I decided my plan was just to get far enough to the front to be safe and see if I could stick there for the race. 5 laps of 8.6 miles. Not a huge distance, but definitely enough when you are already tired to start. So anyway, the game plan worked for about 5 minutes, but then all of a sudden, I found myself looking at about 40 asses in front of me. In case you are wondering, this is NOT a good thing in a race with rough roads, sketchy riders, and flying water bottles.
I eventually got myself back into a safer position, but every lap I was thinking, "man, I'm spent. There is no way I'm going to be able to stay with this front group another lap." As the race went on, the front group whittled down. On the last lap, I was still with the front group, barely. The pace was picking up, and again I was thinking, see above. As we were headed for the fairly steep rollers, I was thinking, "this is the end." It wasn't. Right after the last turn, there is a small rise. I though, "I'm never going to be able to stay with this acceleration." Well, I was still there after the acceleration, barely. There were about 20 guys left in the last section of about 500-1000 meters. Don't take my word on that because I'm not good at estimating the number in groups or the distance from point A to point B. Because of the increase in speed, everyone was lined up single file, and again, I was barely hanging on to the back. My goal at the point was just a top 20. With about 300-400m to go, I told myself, "just suck it up. You only have a minute or two left of suffering." So I start to drop the chain down the cassette and accelerate. Much to my surprise, I start passing guys. Goal: top 15. I pass a few more guys. Goal top 10. A guy attacks to the left, but at that point I didn't have the angle on him, so I go right. I accelerate a little more, and I'm on the second place guys wheel, and from what I can tell I got a solid gap on everyone else. At this point, first place was pretty much gone, I decided to pass 2nd place and I got past him freely. I still sprinted it out, but I guess another guy (a very young one), had caught my wheel at some point. He nipped me right at the line, so I took 3rd.
All in all a good day. Boulder Beer was there giving out free beer, so a Mojo IPA was my post-race recovery drink. My 3rd place prize was a sixer of Pass Time Ale. Beer is as good as gold in my book, so it was almost bike being a pro on this day.
Here is an action shot. That is me in the red, white, and blue. Just a guess, but I'm thinking the guy in front was suffering more than me. I picked up this picture here.
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